The Great Mouse Detection
by Zarius
Summary: DM, Penfold, Squwak and Jeopardy embark on a double date into danger when a priceless Rugby Diamond is stolen and put up for auction at the very place they're dining at!
1. Episode I

**DANGERMOUSE:**

 **THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTION**

 **WRITTEN BY ZARIUS**

 **Disclaimer: Dangermouse (2015) and all trademarked characters are property of Fremantle Media and CBBC**

 **Special thanks to Fanfic member "bravekid" for supplying the idea for this story**

* * *

 **EPISODE ONE**

* * *

Lt. Cameron Cosgrove checked his watch to find it was set to military time.

Appropriate.

As he paced across the dank cold docks of the harbour, looking to his left and right anxiously for signs of life from the murky bleak London fog that enshrined his location, he gazed anxiously at the ticking seconds and minutes accompanying his hour of destiny, and realized all too quickly this crucial time had crept up on him.

He was not late for his appointment. His appointment was late for him.

And that chilled him.

A cold wisp of air danced breezily across his neck. This did nothing to cool him in his fit of steadily developing anxiety.

Too much was riding on his appointment, too much was at stake.

He did his best to prepare and expect an unexpected arrival by fiddling through his coat and revealing a pocket watch.

He opened it, revealing inside a compass, embedded at the centre was a glittering bright and beautiful miniature crystalline rugby ball.

He closed the lid of the fob watch and clutched it tight in his hand.

"Where are you blast it" he said, the wind picking up, a cold snap made him turn.

Cameron was feeling slightly embarrassed.

He was a mouse of the military, he served overseas in wars too terrible to bring up at peak time CBBC hours. He was lucky to get a brief mention in daily uploads of Newsround.

He'd seen things that had broken many minds.

So why couldn't his own mind be put to ease now?

Especially when this was a simple, if illegal, business transaction?

The simplest answer was because he was in a place, a city, where wars had been waged that were even larger in scope and size.

In the city of London, day to day business went hand in hand with day to day chaos.

He cursed the air as it continued to cool him.

He had a good mind to tighten the scarf around his neck.

The odd thing was he had tried to mere minutes before.

He simply couldn't move his hands.

And now he suddenly realized he couldn't move his legs.

When he tried, he felt another cold snap. He pushed harder.

He felt it this time, ever so nippy.

He pushed his legs forward again, hoping to gain motion, another snap and a crackle. And following those, came more pain.

He caught a glimpse of his arms, they looked fridged, he tried flexing a muscle, it yielded the same results as the legs. A snap, a crackle, then pain.

He realized the weather was becoming too treacherous, and yet he couldn't dismiss himself.

He was held prisoner.

A prisoner in the city of war.

And then, from half-way out of the dark, the Snowman cometh.

He gazed upon the mouse's frozen grip, clasped the icy palm with his own, and with a further snap and a crackle, came a painful and precise pop.

The hand gave way, and was crushed completely in the Snowman's grip.

He took the Fob watch from what remained and looked at the hapless militant mind.

"Wha-what have you done?" he said, "I did everything you asked"

"In all your months and preparations made in acquiring this trinket, you made one monumental misfire" said The Snowman, as he blew more icey air into the features of the soldier.

"You only came through in the winter" he said.

He then proceeded to glue the soldier's hand back together a special tube of insta-glue, before fastening in back in place with a mechanical screw attached to the wrist area.

"What was that for?" Cameron asked.

"Standards and practices won't let me exit the scene with a mutilated limb" the Snowman admitted.

"That kind of takes the bite out of this scene" Cameron continued.

"Then you'll just have to settle for one of the frosty variety" The Snowman said, and fastened the soldier's lips shut with an icy bridge across the lips.

The Snowman dug deep into his frigid belly and produced a cell phone

"Inform the benefactor that I have the treasure, and that the appointment is New Year's Day"

The Snowman switched off the phone and smiled as he compared his reliability to that of Cameron Cosgrove.

Through winter he'd come, and through winter he would always come through.

Everything was in place now.

The feast, and the bidding, was soon to begin.


	2. Episode II

**EPISODE TWO**

* * *

Inside a familiar may fare mailbox, trouble was brewing within the catacombs of the country's foremost scientific mind as she dealt with one of her usual migraines.

"Out, get out" cried a disheartened Professor Sqauwkencluck as she hoisted the world's greatest secret agent out of her laboratory, "I told you to stay well clear of that Megabyte Modem"

"Good grief Professor, I only wanted to use it for faster broadband" said Dangermouse.

"There's nothing wrong with the rate you've presently got" Squawk rambled.

"You tend to forget the kind of speeds I'm used to travelling with in the Mark III Professor" said Dangermouse.

"Oh right, so the thing has to dial through traffic lights to satisfy you?" Sqawkencluck continued.

Haplessly waltzing in on the argument was Penfold, a small can of coke in hand.

"Chief? The Colonel asked me to come fetch you, you're needed urgently in the briefing room" he said.

"We're calling the living lounge the briefing room now?" asked Dangermouse.

"No, we call that because you've taken to loitering all your unwashed briefs across the floor. No, of course it's the briefing room Chief, as you're briefly in it to lounge around, you're always down here pestering the Professor" said a slightly irked Penfold.

"Very well Penfold" Dangermouse continued, "I'll lead the way" he added, grabbing the coke from Penfold's grip and chugging it's content down his own throat in route to the main elevator.

Penfold stared at Squawkencluck as he pressed her head firmly against the edge of the walls that lined the entrance to her lab.

"He gave you another one didn't he?" said Penfold, producing a pair of aspirins from his pocket and handing one to her.

"I'm used to having the occasional pop of the membrane Penfold, you don't have to make a special effort to clear it" said Squawkencluck, petting Penfold on the head.

"Yeah well, sooner or later the Chief's gonna have to settle a bit...the way he treats some ladies" Penfold continued.

"What he needs is a date" Squawkencluck added. "If he were made to be on his best behaviour, made to treat a woman right, be it his career on the line or whatnot, I reckon he could just about manage it"

"You think so?" said Penfold

"Well you see how good he is with you all the time"

"I'm not a girl" Penfold said, crossing his arms in frustration.

"You sure do scream like one" Squawkencluck joked

Penfold turned his back on her. Squawkencluck recoiled, feeling a tad guilty.

"Penfold, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I was just having a little laugh, you two act like such a pair of tykes it's hard to see you talk about grown up things" she insisted.

Penfold turned his head ever so slightly, "You're right though, DM does need a date. Cor heck, I need one, this job never gives us any time, and you know how it is with relationships at work"

"I can't say I have" said Squawkencluck, what's the Colonel want from you and DM anyway?"

"Something about a rugby diamond" Penfold explained.

"Ruby" Squawkencluck said in an attempt to correct him.

"No, Rugby. It's shaped like a Rugby ball. It was designed as an heirloom for the winners of the Rugby world cup. It was placed in the care of the British military"

"Well that's a pretty silly thing, England was ousted early in the game this year" said Sqawkencluck, "There's bound to be some bitterness there"

"Yeah, well, that right there was grounds for someone in its care to tail off with it. The Colonel got a hot tip from a cold source...the soldier who swiped it, and he's feeding DM the details on where it's ended up"

"So you'll be working New Year's day then?" asked a disheartened Squawkencluck.

"'Fraid so" said Penfold.

Squawk sighed, "I guess I'll just tend to my modem then...the thought of it, seeing in the New Year, I might as well make it a NU year"

"NU year?"

"See in the morning with nothing but nu metal. Low standards for lower expectation"

"Did you have any plans prior Professor?" asked Penfold.

"No...not with anyone, not anymore" she said.

The awkward conversation was interrupted when Dangermouse stepped back through the elevator.

"Penfold...I have an urgent matter to discuss with you"

"This isn't the best time Chief" Penfold continued.

"Then make time Penfold" Dangermouse asked.

"I'm not a watchman" said Penfold.

"Penfold, I need...something"

"Spit it out then" Penfold said,

DM rinsed his mouth with saliva and spat out a date he had lodged in his mouth, which hit Penfold's palm with full force.

"Oh" said Penfold


	3. Episode III

**EPISODE THREE**

* * *

"According to all sources..." DM began as he and Penfold marched through the lounge area towards DM's master bedroom.

"...The Street's the place to go?" Penfold asked, his tongue firmly in cheek

"No, the sources reveal that an auction for the stolen Rugby diamond will be held at the Humble Grape near Clapham Junction"

"Doesn't sound too swank does it?" said Penfold.

"Yes, but apparently they want evening wear worn there anyway...everyone must look their best, it _is_ a bit of a competitive occasion"

"So why don't they all wear sport wear?" asked Penfold.

"Penfold, shush" said DM, and opened the door to his bedroom, where he immediately made a beeline for his wardrobe. Penfold settled on the bouncy bed

"No, that won't do" said DM as he fondled through the packed closet, "That's too lanky, that's too straight...that's a straight jacket..."

Penfold sat on the bed, staring puzzlingly at a lollipop DM had given him, with instructions not to take it yet. Pairs of jeans, bundles of shirts, and a few crooked ties flew by him as DM emptied the contents of his wardrobe.

DM spun around and showed Penfold a matching white overcoat and black shirt.

"It's very you" Penfold said.

"Thank you kindly Penfold, now shush and put on the dress"

"Excuse me?" Penfold replied, a little taken aback.

"The dress, it's the one you wore to that Pink Princesses' party remember? It still fits, and I took the liberty of ironing out the cresses personally" said DM.

"I...um, think I need to step out a bit Chief" said Penfold.

"Take your time, it'll all be waiting for you when you get back" said DM.

Penfold anxiously entered the lounge area where the hologram of Col. K waited patiently for his agents to begin the assignment.

"Penfold, anything the matter lad?" asked the Colonel

"'I'm not going to be DM's date for this, I've been making plans to spend New Year's Day with a friend in dire need of cheering up"

"Dash it all" said the Colonel, "We could really use you on this field assignment, how about a raise?"

"Well, I could do with walking on air given how I'm feeling" said Penfold.

"I meant a raise in pay" corrected the Colonel.

"Oh, well I could do with some cash for my date...say, how about I bring the date along?" requested Penfold.

"I can't ask you to endanger a civilian lad" replied the Colonel. Penfold nodded, but he had an ace up his sleeve

"I was thinking of bringing someone from work" Penfold replied.

"Splendid chap, one of our top agents I imagine, and would provide adequate back-up for DM" the Colonel replied ecstatically.

"Well hang on, I want DM to have a date too, as per the original plan" said Penfold.

"But who do you reckon would be a good fit for him?"

Penfold gave the Colonel a knowing look.

"Oh no, not her, not Jeopardy Mouse. DM wouldn't permit it; neither would she come to think of it. Those two have gone right off the other following that contest all three of you participated in off-world" said the Colonel.

"Not if we trick them into going out with each other" said Penfold, "Tell me...does Jeopardy do any...online dating?"

"Yes, anonymously" answered the Colonel.

"I can get the Chief to set up an account of his own, just find out what her online alias is and we'll arrange for the chief to chat with her under an alias, I'll tell him she's a foreign agent and he can inform her of his needs for the gala auction. We're going in disguise anyway so she won't recognize him"

"He'll be in disguise...but then, so would she if she were told of what was going on...oh splendid and diabolical notion lad" complimented the Colonel, "I'll get right on it, I should have the information by next chapter"

"That's cracking Colonel, I'll get the Chief online ASAP" said Penfold.

"Might I ask though Penfold lad...who is your date?" asked the Colonel.

"Someone who's all too familiar with chickening in than out" said Penfold.


	4. Episode IV

**EPISODE FOUR**

* * *

The Colonel came through for Penfold, and before long the pair was chatting with one "Daisy Day Breaker" on the online secret agent dating service EyeASpy.

"What sort of question is that?" asked DM as Penfold tied back his ears into a pseudo-ponytail.

"Just ask her" Penfold continued. DM yelped as Penfold gripped the ears and twisted them into a knot.

"Have you had at any point a 'Close Shave'" DM wrote on to the online chat log that he was participating in. A few agonizing and awkward minutes passed.

"What's taking her so long?" asked Penfold.

"She said she'd give me a visual" DM said.

"Of her close shave...like, an actual mission?" Penfold asked, a part of him was frightful this would encourage DM to send videos of his own exploits as a way of one-upping her.

DM, however, understood the importance of maintaining a cover on a covert mission.

"If you have any worries about showing mine if she shows me hers, you don't have to fret Penfold, I'd rather we keep this blunder with the diamond completely under our hats, if word gets out to foreign powers England aren't the most sporting of nations after all, it could makes a pigs ear out of our reputation"

"So long as it's a Pig's EAR, that's fine by me Chief. The Prime Minister has more to worry about regarding other parts of a pig as it is"

DM finally received an update on the chat log.

"Ok, here's the visual...oh, it's just her legs"

"They look particularly hairy Chief"

"Well she's a mouse; we tend to be covered in fur Penfold"

The two browsed the screen, their eyes fixated on the legs.

"So where's the close shave?" asked Penfold

The image of a smooth razor came into view as it was placed delicately on the female's furry kneecap

"Oh my giddy Aunt..." Penfold said in a squeamish manner.

"That's not your Aunt" DM said

"I'll tell you what this is...it's nap time for me" said Penfold, scrambling to get out of the room.

"You're not staying up to greet the New Year Penfold?" asked DM.

"I like the soothing notion of letting one year slide out of my life peacefully, and awaken to a fresh start" Penfold replied.

"That's...very wise of you...just one other question...Penfold, do I have to wear my ears this way? I don't think I'll ever get this pair out of the knots you've tangled into"

"I had to do it tonight in case your date for tomorrow asked you to provide a visual...if she found out you were a British secret agent, it'd lead to the sort of commotion we're dreading will get out" Penfold explained.

"So thinking I'm cosplaying as Heidi is better for business?"

"Good night Chief" said Penfold, and retired from the room.


	5. Episode V

**EPISODE FIVE**

* * *

The fifth hour of New Year's morning had ticked into life as the clock hanging above Penfold's room struck the expected numbers, and his eyes had yet to firmly shut. The irritating noise emanating from the floor beneath his bed had risen to intolerable levels for this time of evening as the secret agents of Mayfare brought in the New Year with passionate choruses brought on by an intake of precious and rare wines saved especially for these annual occasions.

Penfold wandered if the assistant agents for any of the other operatives in the base were getting any shut-eye. They too, after all, had to be in healthy order for visits from their Aunties and Uncles. The assistants were often mocked for being good little boys and girls by the Agents, almost in a manner befitting a fraternity house.

Penfold took the restless hours as an opportunity to catch up on his diary and make note of his schedule for the morning and afternoon so he could plan the evening ahead.

He made note to catch the television in the morning and then look up more information on the Humble Grape, where the auction for the Rugby Diamond was said to take place. He was strangely more interested more in the menu than conducting any sort of business.

Then he began to wonder just how much of his restlessness was due to the party a mere floor beneath him.

This wasn't the first night he had trouble sleeping.

This was now the fifth instance in a row.

He hadn't had such a consistent bout of insomnia since the last Christmas where he had that uneasy ache in his teeth. He had to get it plucked out by the emergency dentist on Boxing Day. So sharp was the pain that he couldn't even take to the annual Christmas banquet that year.

Penfold shook his head as he caught himself going slightly off-point.

His mind tended to slip and slide like that, but then, his mind was exactly what was mucking about with him in these sleep-free hours, leading him to spend the whole of this week's post-Christmas dozing off in the daytime laying like a leech on the lounge sofa.

He often wondered who kept tucking him with blankets of days old newspapers like some homeless tramp that was not up to date on proper homing accommodation.

There was his mind slipping again. Penfold shook his head back and forth again, trying to rattle off distraction.

He needed to trace the source of his issues, what was plaguing his mind enough to keep him up so much.

Initially, he looked for a feeling, he searched for one, but feelings are alien to the logistics of the rational mind, he needed to associate it with a word.

The word that raised him from amongst the snug and the dead.

He finally found it.

Something that, when uttered, struck a chord so loud it rattled his psyche enough to keep him alert and awake. A word that, each time he found it, would repeat again and again ad nausea until he found himself speaking it for all too brief a time.

And then it would be forgotten.

A seed planted in his mind.

Seed.

Again and again.

Seed.

And in the constant repetition that followed, Penfold realized to his horror he would have no sleep permitted to him for some considerable times.

With a sigh and an utterance of the word, Penfold scored out any plans he had made for the morning and afternoon in his diary.


	6. Episode VI

**EPISODE SIX**

* * *

A shift in time zones now, to the dying embers of a afternoon and early evening for Jeopardy Mouse as she glanced outwards from the window of her mobile RV base, taking in the breathtaking sights of the city from afar as it steadily began to light up for the impending New Year from a more literal neck of the woods.

A swift and sudden noise made her turn. A rattle, a thud, a voice emitting groans of sheer agony. The all too telling signs that a vintage trap had been sprung.

A trap she'd set herself. The mice making use of methods designed solely for their own destruction. It was a just irony.

She jumped off the window ledge, hot-footed across the warming radiator, leapt off of it, cradled into a ball and rolled across the clear grass before springing upwards directly in front of a five gallon bucket with a plank of wood smeared with peanut butter forming a makeshift ramp. At the centre of the bucket was a small tin can suspended by a metal wire, also smeared with peanut butter.

Jeopardy walked up the 'ramp' and stared down into the custom abyss to find a shady field mouse, trying desperately to reach a green cap and a gold tooth, both of which had been ejected from the body when he had crash landed.

"That's what you get for being peckish" said Jeopardy in triumph.

"Alright, alright, I couldn't help myself, my fridge is knackered where I live" said the field mouse in a winded and distinct hill billy accent.

"So you're trying to snatch stuff from me? Why don't you just ask?" said Jeopardy

"You can't find the time for me, you're always busy...just get me out of here and we'll talk payment for any grub you can offer, I'll even pay you in the tooth I just lost"

"No can do I'm afraid" said Jeopardy, "I've got to be in London in a couple of hours"

"Another mission?" asked the mouse

"It's a mission...of sorts, I'm looking to it as an excuse to socialize with someone like-minded, a fancy event for a charitable cause" she said.

"Ah, so it's a date" the mouse replied, "Looking to be the bell of the ball?"

Jeopardy froze.

Bell.

A word that she'd been mulling over and over all day.

Like it had been planted there in her head.

Planted like a simple seed.

Seed.

That was another word, not as persistent as 'bell', but a word she felt persisted on forming a connection with the one that frequented the most in her mind.

She didn't have the time to sort this out. Sort any of it out really.

A new year was dawning; a date was imminent, only the mission mattered.

"Stick around will you, I'll try to be back in 24 hours" she yelled to the helpless field mouse, and scampered back to her RV, which was swiftly transmogrified into a sleek and sharp looking flying contraption at the mere press of the button

"Great...I fall for the ol' Bucket trap, and she's given me nothing but peanuts" the mouse said in frustration, observing the stains of peanut butter across the walls of the trap.


	7. Episode VII

**EPISODE SEVEN**

* * *

DM kept a sharp and beady eye on the Colonel as he stood a few meters away from him, pistol in hand, raising it high into the clear air.

"On your marks" he began, tightening his hold on the trigger of the pistol

DM placed one leg forward, another to the back. He leaned forward; his eye focused and trailed along areas of the circular track spread out before him

"Go" the Colonel uttered. The pistol went off.

And so did DM.

Dashing at impeccably swift speed across the track, DM achieved several laps in mere minutes, impressing a passionate and swarming crowd of deer leaders (that's deers holding pom-poms), as they encouraged every sprint made across the track and field.

In his series of sprints, DM tallied up the number of times he had completed the run in his head, projecting a specific number. That target number came closer to being reached with each successive run around the perimeter.

And then he stopped dead in his tracks. Dead ON the track.

Standing before him and the finish line, out of nowhere, materialising where it had not been before, was a large crater.

"Help" echoed forth a familiar hoarse and croaky voice from the crater.

"Toad in the hole" DM said, extending his arm to pull his hated nemesis, Baron Greenback, out.

"Ah Dangermouse, it appears I am in your debt" said Greenback.

"What on Earth are you doing here?" said DM.

"Virus in the data" Greenback replied, "But why has the data arranged for itself here?"

"I've got this whole thing figured out, look at me here, this is me figuring it out, and I'm even taking the opportunity to get some needed exercise out of the experience"

Greenback looked out at the field, the cheerleaders, the ecstatic colonel who continued to fire shot after shot of the pistol in the air, repeating the same sentence "On your marks, go", "On your marks, go"

"You've not paid much attention to the smaller details...they serve one function, not several" criticized Greenback.

"Should they?" DM asked.

"You don't learn anything in the mindset of the singular, you need to make something more of the whole" advised Greenback, he then took to examine his surroundings

"I recognize these grounds...the Academy was it not? Your alma mater?"

"Yes" DM confirmed.

"I've read the files"

"No you didn't" DM remarked, a brief hysterical hiccup under his breath betraying his emotional armour, giving away signs of awkwardness

"Of course I did, why else would I be in here? We have to advance the next phase of the conversation somehow white wonder" Greenback replied.

"My files are confidential" DM insisted.

"And yet you're choosing to turn the pages on an open book. To me."

"Why would I do that?" DM asked.

"Think it through Dangermouse...you suspect something more than a simple bit of awkward social mingling will occur at this auction you're going to...something that elevates a mundane task. You suspect my hand in it, so you're trying to put your suspicions on show" Greenback continued.

"And what do my school days have to do with it?"

"You tell me. Why 66?" Greenback asked.

Dangermouse sighed.

"I took a test here. I was late for my P.E session, didn't bother bringing my sports gear, so I had to sit out a marathon sprint across the circuit. This circuit"

"What did you do in the meantime?" Greenback asked

"I...was given a paper...a survey..." DM continued, "It was a challenge...how much of our mind can be made up on issues based on simple word play. It was the public option of a world health care issue. Forty-four percent accepted the public option if it said the health care plan was government funded, and a higher percentage accepted it if it said it was a government administered plan similar to Medicare"

"That number being 66" said Greenback.

"I...was one of the forty-four that accepted the first option" admitted Dangermouse.

"Loyal to the government at the risk of being behind on the popular vote" Greenback replied, "Sounds an awfully cruel test handed out by a P.E teacher"

"All our teachers had dual roles back then, saved on the budget. Even the Canteen ladies taught Modern Studies while they served you a chip bun" DM continued.

"So you trust the government enough to plant these words in your mind...these seeds?" Greenback added.

"Oh don't start the seed thing with me, I've already figured that bit out"

"So the number is what you'll figure out now? Why so keen to be amongst the 66 percent?"

"Words mean something. Search enough and you find a solution to everything, even something that hasn't been solved yet" DM continued.

"And what would that be?" Greenback said.

DM slowly turned to him, and raised one eyebrow.

"My impending murder" DM revealed.

And with that, DM snapped his eye open, finding himself curled up in a meditative position on his bedroom floor.

He got up and looked out through the window. Bright and loud Fireworks illuminated the dank curtain of night.

New Year had arrived.

And he was no longer of the singular mind; he was with the whole, a whole he was not in control of.

In his mind, the word 'seed' persisted, but the word meant nothing, he had pinpointed a better word in the soup of the survey, something that would enable him to have the upper hand.

All he needed now was the right remedy.

And to that he turned to not one word, but two, based off a location. There was more to his method than just a return to embarrassing missteps in Physical Education.

He had made progressive steps on the track and field.

He had fast tracked his way to a solution.

Fast Track.

Over and over again in his head those words would persist.

Fast Track.

The answer to averting his fate lay in them.


	8. Episode VIII

**EPISODE EIGHT**

* * *

Squawkencluck kicked the vacuum cleaner for a third time, frustrated that it was on the fritz again.

A couple of knocks, a rhythm of four, at the door seemed to calm her nerves.

"Erm, Professor...is your room decent?" came a squeaky yet sincere voice.

"I'm the only decent being in this maelstrom of a mailbox...did you HEAR the commotion last night?" Squawkencluck rambled as Penfold crept through the door.

"Every bit of it" Penfold replied.

Squawk folded her arms and again gave her vacuum cleaner a firm boot up the backside.

"Be a dear and sort that out" she mumbled, the whole of the sentence running together into an incoherent mutter.

"Pardon?" said Penfold.

"SORT IT OUT" she yelled. Penfold shivered.

Penfold bent down nervously and tinkered with the back of the machine, all while Squawk observed him, beginning to feel bad for yelling at him when his very entrance into her room had soothed her previously.

"Don't mind me there Penny, just letting the night intrude on the day" she said apologetically.

"No problem Professor, did you at least get any work done?" Penfold asked.

Squawk gave him a coy look.

"You think that's what I do? You think I stay up all night gluing back together everything that turns to confetti when you and your meddling mouse lift your little fingers and dance all over them?"

"Steady on Prof" Penfold said. Squawk bit her tongue, again kicking herself for losing it.

"I'm never in the right place with you two am I? Sorry, I just wish people would see me as more than a workhorse..."

"Well you're not even a horse" Penfold replied

"Enough with the jokes, your timing is horrible" criticized Squawk, "If you must know, I spent all night trying to meditatively time travel" Squawk explained.

"Is that possible?" Penfold asked

"In a dream-state everything is" Squawk continued, "It was an odd one too...perhaps this happened, perhaps it didn't, I was a young chick sitting with my parents at a dinner table, being served a hot dish...I was given tiny little seeds to peck on while the grown-ups ate the meal. My dad suddenly stopped, looked at the meal, and called for the waiter to take it back. He later told my mum that he'd rather have taken the seeds I was having, and then he asked me to share mine with his"

"Did this actually happen?" Penfold asked.

"Oh I was a just a child back then, and you know how memories tend to become more loose and romantic from that era when you get older...I could be misremembering, but everything felt so clear, and it was almost as if that dream was telling me something..."

"Professor...you mention 'seeds', I...I can't seem to get that word out of my head"

"Really? Now that is fascinating...could be signs of dream meshing" Squawk speculated. Penfold, as usual, was perplexed.

"What's dream meshing?" said Penfold

"There are several explanations for it; one has to do with latent telepathy in an unconscious state"

"Yikes, does that mean all the spoons in the kitchen will bend when I pick them up?" Penfold asked in alarm. Squawk giggled.

"No, no silly, you're probably not that strong telepathically, but having a close mutual connection to someone and having a shared experience with them can lead to strong ties to their psyches."

"But when did we have any shared experiences? I was only just now about to ask you out on one"

"Well there was that time you, me and DM had to entire a virtual reality prison to try and repair the government's firewalls from a virus installed by...what did you say?" Squawk said, trailing off of her speculation to focus on what Penfold had said.

"Ask you out" Penfold continued, "DM is going undercover with someone to infiltrate that auction for the Rugby diamond and I was thinking they'd need back-up...besides, I...could do with the company" Penfold proposed.

"Is this business or pleasure? You know how badly I need a break from doing the dirty work for you two" said Squawk

"Oh it won't be like that Professor, it's just...you know how the chief gets, you know his moods, we can't risk him exposing himself to his date or to the auctioneers, they're going to be a pretty bad bunch"

"I suppose I should at least try...ok Penny, since it's the new year and I have to make some kind of fancy resolution, I'll resolve to help you sort this mess out...just, next time you ask me out, go about it the way any other guy would...and settle on an ordinary set of circumstances. I'll still say yes if you're not so awkward about it" Squawk said.

Penfold grinned, "Thanks heaps Professor, I'll let the chief know you're coming...just, um, try not to read too much into his behaviour when he acts a bit erratic around his date, it's all an act"

"The one thing DM isn't is a class act, so I won't make any promises" said Squawk.


	9. Episode IX

**EPISODE NINE**

* * *

At her request, Penfold waited outside of the Professor's quarters for about thirty minutes, checking his watch every five. He was so frustrated with how long it normally takes her to freshen up that he neglected to notice the watch he had was a toy one he picked up from a pick'n'grab machine at the carnival.

The door opened just as he leaned on it, sending him careering into the room and sprawled in front of Sqauwkencluck. Penfold rubbed his eyes as the Professor extended her hand and offered to pick him up. He grabbed her hand and straightened himself up.

He stood there transfixed at the way she looked. Her hair down, her glasses off, wearing a silk black night dress and stiletto high heels (no, not shoes shaped like the head of Greenback's henchman Stiletto), in her left hand was a scarlet purse with a DM logo attached to it.

"You look...look...you look like...quite the chick" said Penfold. The Professor blushed and tugged at his cheek.

"You're a darling Penny, come on, we'd better catch up with DM, he's waiting at the car"

"The car? Professor, we can't use the car"

"Why not? Is there something you're not telling me...Penfold, I get we work for a secretive agency, but a little trust exercise would do you more good than your sordid attempts at physical exercise"

"It's just...well..." Penfold began, not wanting to tell the Professor the slightly humiliating and potentially harmful information that Dangermouse was playing Jeopardy like a fiddle to guarantee her cooperation. The Professor was a pretty proud woman, and she would not want any sister from another mister to be taken for a ride.

"...It's...well...this is a causal day out is it not? We could just leave the top secret stuff behind, don't attract attention to ourselves, and just mingle in with the regular Joes, like you did when you went to that concert..." Penfold explained.

"Not too bad an idea, I'll run it by DM when we catch him" The Professor replied.

"No, I'll tell him" Penfold said, and took out a small pocket pen from his pocket. He clicked the back of it and a holographic projection of DM in his current position lit into view.

"Why are his ears tied back like a ponytail? That has to hurt, and it can't do much for his hearing" said a perplexed Squawk.

"Remember what I said about him acting...eccentric?" said Penfold

"Fair enough, I have no idea what you two are doing, but I'll leave you to discuss it privately, I've got to finish powdering up" said Squawk, and retired back to her room, locking it shut.

"Chief, where are you? I just realized you can't take the Mark IV, Jeopardy will tell it's you right from the get-go"

"No worries Penfold, I didn't take the car, I took the bus, I'm present, and as always, correct"

"Wait, you're there? Right now?"

"Yep, all that's required now is to await Jeopardy's arrival, I'm sure she wouldn't want to attract too much attention either..."

A sound of ferocious rocket fire suddenly interrupted him as Jeopardy Mouse's craft made a perfect ten touchdown on the streets below to alarmed and amazed expressions from every civilian in the street surrounding him.

"Ok, so much for being casual" DM said.

"Ok Chief, butter her up until we get here, and for gosh sakes, don't make yourself look like clear and present Danger" Penfold replied.

DM nodded.

"Professor, enough with the powder, we need to go take a powder" said Penfold, knocking on the door.

"Keep your hair on" the Professor snapped back.

"You've been around my head long enough to know I'm no hair-raiser" Penfold replied.


	10. Intermission

**INTERMISSION**

"Maggie, come on" Magpie Maybelline cried from outside the star dressing cabinet lodged in the centre of the restaurant kitchen, "The mugs are teeming in and they're babbling about their own problems, we need ya to sing before something sets off"

"I'm saving my performance for less of a commotion" Magpie Maggie replied, taking another handkerchief from her box and blowing into it.

"You only ever say that when there's something tickling you in a sad way" Maybelline responded. "What are ya reading in there? It's always something you can't put down that winds up putting you down"

"Ok, you got me" Maggie replied, "It's a...it's a romance story. The couple I like the most in it, the hero and his loyal wife, they...they might split up; I can't deal with it if they do. She wants to sacrifice her own happiness and be this bad boy prince's queen, run away with him, all so he spares her real love and her husband and this village he's attacking"

"So what's emotional about that? It's simultaneously trading up and making her love for the guy seem so important she's willing to sacrifice it to keep a whole community from falling apart, thus doing him proud" Maybelline responded. "Besides, you could always peek to the end"

"I can't" she said

"Why not?"

"It's an online daily" she confirmed.

"A daily? You mean one of those dicey novellas that only update over a 24 hour period?"

"Yeah" Maggie confirmed

"Oh for goodness sake Maggie, the place isn't going to be open all night lass. You've got to move on up and move ahead, your anxieties can hold up until then. Lord help us loads if this was for a month like all those mid-season breaks in the States"

"It takes me hours to calm down"

"Just make sure it doesn't take you a second to clam up, we need your voice stirring some souls up here, and it may even sooth your own. Sing something classy and heart-warming, live in hope things will work out and you're not being taken for a ride just to keep your eyes glued to that site."

"Yeah, they've had twists like this before and it all turned out alright"

"Then sing about that. All crooks deep down like to think that the world can do right by them, even if it compels them to do wrong by everyone else."

Maggie stepped out of the room, in her dazzling silver dress and blonde highlights illuminating her appearance.

"Alright, let us two wee magpies keep those souls from stirring the wrong way" she proclaimed

"Two for joy, that's our motto" Maybelline said in agreement.

"Oh isn't you just born with it" Maggie added.

And as the guests filed in and the commotion continued, the Magpies, the afternoon's musical entertainment, took to the stage to sing.


	11. Episode X

**EPISODE TEN**

* * *

"What will be your pleasure my dears?" asked the waiter as he served the dangerous dating duo

"Coffee. Leave the pot" a bored Dangermouse replied.

"I'll just have a Mars Crispy cake and some soup for starters" Jeopardy requested.

As the waiter headed off to take their orders, Jeopardy looked through her diary.

"Making note of any dates?" Dangermouse asked in a thinly disguised voice.

"Just the ones that interest me" said Jeopardy.

Dangermouse stretched his arms out as another yawn overtook him, he then leaned over and gave Jeopardy a telling look

"Do I interest you?" he said.

"Very" said Jeopardy, tickling his nose with her fingers, "And don't worry, I'm sleeping on the inside too, this place was so lively earlier"

"Yeah, blame the music" Dangermouse said, spotting the two Magpie singers transfixing the audience, "I swear one of them is singing like the last remnants of her private little world came unglued"

"Think it's always this sort of way?" asked Jeopardy.

"The world collapsing around our ears? Depends on how well the date goes" Dangermouse joked.

"We're here to work" Jeopardy replied.

"Yes, but it's my pleasure to do business with you" Dangermouse replied.

Jeopardy couldn't help but notice how his ponytail was starting to look very bruised. The result of being tied back too tight to avoid her recognizing him.

"You might want to untangle your ears, they look like they're developing blisters" she said

Dangermouse recoiled, "Um, no, no I like it the way it is. I'm good with pain, slight or large. I wouldn't be here otherwise if I wasn't made of sterner stuff"

"Alright, just...if push comes to shove, I don't want it proving to be a distraction or anything"

"If I undid my ears, you'd be able to read me like a book. I like to keep some secrets" Dangermouse added.

"So when are your friends coming?" she asked.

Dangermouse looked at his watch, glimpsing Penfold and Squawk approaching their location on a video screen

The coffee soon came for DM

"I'm afraid there's only one main special on the menu today my guests, largely in part due to unaccommodating kitchen problems" revealed the Waiter, "I'm sure you can understand"

"No, no, we're fine" Dangermouse replied, and started sipping from the pot

"So...what do you dream about?" Jeopardy asked

DM put down the coffee jar.

Now he was interested.


	12. Episode XI

**EPISODE ELEVEN**

* * *

Penfold and Squawkencluck found a lot to talk about in the back of the taxi as it sat amongst many others that were currently victims of a traffic gridlock.

"All I'm saying is not a lot of restaurants have been up to my particular standards the last couple of years" Squawk insisted

"Such as?" a curious Penfold asked

"Well, when I was in America, Subway was excellent, until they disposed of that five buck footlong deal" she continued

"Burger King for me" Penfold added, eager to one up his date, "Once they changed the recipe on their nug..."

Penfold caught himself.

 _What an idiot_ he thought. _Of all the things to bring up to a chicken, you use nuggets_

"Nevermind" Penfold replied

"I'm sure they're not that bad" Squawk replied.

"Well, if you fancy random Churros, curly fries, and the choice of spicy burgers they're not all that bad...especially the chic..."

Penfold was close to slapping himself for nearly name-dropping anything that had to do with compacted poultry in light of who he was taking to lunch.

"Why couldn't those crooked bidder have picked TGI Fridays for their auction?" Squawk pondered to herself as she took out her compact mirror and applied more lipstick to her ruby-laced beak. Penfold, slightly transfixed by the luxurious imagery, eventually followed that with a freshly inspired bit of information.

"I insisted we stop going there after they stopped serving the French dip sandwich" Penfold told her, "He was sort of tempted to go back himself, but the one nearest to HQ shut down some time ago"

"I'd rather have went somewhere in the morning...Taco Bell maybe. Their breakfast is excellent. Mind you, I don't know if they still serve their volcanic Burritos" Squawk mused.

"My aunt's youngest was a waiter at Olive Garden. Very bland food and service there, but she always heard her son was one of the better waiters there" Penfold revealed.

"Oh I would love to work in those places, I'd make sure it was no place that served chicken nuggets. Such an illegal practise, they have to all be made in countries that legalize slaughter of innocent chicks too. If I was sitting next to anyone who liked to scoff them down for lunch, I'd have them for lunch"

Penfold permitted himself an unnerving gulp.

"KFC changed their cooking oil" he muttered...a part of him cursed himself for even letting it slip from his lips, but he couldn't help it. Whenever he felt like he had something to say, he was obligated to just let the words loose.

Fortunately, Squawk didn't hear him, so he opted now to change the subject.

As the traffic jam came to a gradual end, and the taxi began moving along, Penfold asked Squawk what she fancied to eat when they finally got to their destination.

"I don't know...I feel like I could just go with a sesame bun, just for the seeds" she answered.

"Still thinking of dream meshing, are is the little chick just going to settle on seeds and let us grown ups eat the meal then?" Penfold joked.

Squawk smiled at him.


	13. Episode XII

**EPISODE TWELVE**

* * *

DM was truly mesmerised at how Jeopardy was opening up to him about what had occurred in her mind in times where sleep was required of her.

"You say you got engaged, married and divorced in an hour during this dream?" DM asked as he poured himself another cup of coffee from the pot. His inner gentleman had by this point taken over and he was finally drinking it in the most English of manners.

"Yes...fascinating concept. It was to a boy I had sort of developed a fondness for well over eight years" she revealed, taking a freshly served jug of orange juice and pouring it into her own glass, "I'd only ever met him in the physical sense about three times, one time I wanted to tell him how felt was when I lent him a DVD box set of a tv series he loved. I tucked in a note expressing my feelings, but five minutes later I pulled it out for fear I'd have to ultimately come clean to him about my experience in the field, which would put his life at risk"

"So you pined for him long afterwards?" DM asked.

"Yes, that dream I had where I married and left him is only a few days old. I don't know why I would think of hurting him like that"

"You're not hurting him...you're liberating him. Giving him even the tiniest fraction of your time would be world enough for him" DM replied.

"We're all so...expendable aren't we? Time is precious to us, time is so little, and life for us agents is never simple...even when we have our desires presented to us in illusion, as we advance in age, we tend to welcome in a harsher reality even to that mirage...we don't want an Oasis, we are as barren as the desert, and we want even our inner worlds to reflect what we experience in everything outside. The world outside our windows has never had such stronger pull on us"

"Perhaps we should concentrate on the world in here then" DM said, "Look around, how many do you think we can take?"

Jeopardy glanced at the huddled mass of inhumanity gathered at the tables. Reptiles, one-eyed Giraffes, well-manicured scarabs in evening wear, foxes dressed in casual light green shirts and ties indulging in a game of cards with a pack of Alsatians. Each one giving the other dirty looks.

"You're seriously thinking of instigating a confrontation? We're here to take back the Rugby diamond, not add an unstable element to a fragile situation. No, we're going to do this discreetly"

"I'm just weighing our options" DM insisted.

"Male mice and their happy fists, what a philistine approach" a cross Jeopardy criticized, "You remind me so much of another hothead I'm usually tagged up with, the one comforting thought is he is'nt here to bungle things up"

DM kept his temper in check. Now was not the time to forfeit his disguise in favour of setting Jeopardy right on her cruel comments.

"You're right...of course, you're right. We ought to try something that doesn't leave too much of a a fuss...at least until we make it out of here with the diamond"

"Then listen up, because here's my strategy" Jeopardy began, "I'd like to whisper it in your ear if you've got a minute, untie one of them so I can do so"

DM felt apprehensive. If he let his ears loose, his disguise would be undone.

"Come on man, what's the hold up? Important business to be had here" she said.

The swift arrival of Penfold and Squawkencluck at the table spared him any embarrassment.

"Penfold, glad you could make it" said Jeopardy, "Me and my date were just about to discuss strategy, mind if I whisper it in your ear?"

"Sure" Penfold replied, "I'll pass it on to H.Q for you too if you like"

Jeopardy nudged past Squawkencluck just as began settling into her seat, she kneeled down beside Penfold, her voice was barely audible to everyone else, but what she slowly slipped into Penfold's hearing made sure to make enough commotion in the hapless hamster's packed and panicked mind.

"I don't know what you and Dunce Mouse are up to with this little double dating deception, but rest assured, if we don't come away with this diamond, I am going to arrange you two never see a single date in a calendar year let alone one of the romantic kind"


	14. Episode XIII

**EPISODE THIRTEEN**

* * *

Penfold had to think quickly.

They'd been rumbled.

"What makes you think your date is DM?" Penfold whispered

"The voice he's put on the whole time sounds strained and false" Jeopardy revealed, "I can master thick cockney accents when I have to go undercover, but he cocks it right up" revealed Jeopardy, "He also the exact same manners, can't keep himself too attentive unless it's something that interests HIM, and on top of all that, you show up. You're permanently attached to his sides, to the point they'd split if you did"

"I have friends besides DM; the Professor has friends outside of work. We're just helping a fresh agent out in the field" Penfold replied, trying to salvage the situation with more lies.

"Oh so you're going to humour me are you? Fine, but this is a delicate situation" Jeopardy replied.

"Are you two going to hum sweet nothings in each other's ear all day?" Squawkencluck asked.

"No, it's nothing" Jeopardy said, and clambered back over to her side of the table.

"I don't see you get out all that much Professor, work must stress you out, having to hang around so many walking and talking errors posing as helpful hands" Jeopardy said, complimenting Squawkencluck

A loud clatter made her turn.

"Oh I'm so sorry, I dropped the coffee jug" Dangermouse said, "I'll just pick it up"

"I'll help you Matlock" Penfold said

"MATLOCK?" Jeopardy replied

"That's his name...met him during a game of Go at the Checkers games night festival" Penfold said.

"Oh yes, your life outside DM...and it's amongst more nerds. How glamorous" Jeopardy said, deciding to play along with Penfold's poorly conceived deception even if she didn't buy an inch of it.

DM and Penfold huddled under the table.

"Penfold, does she know?" DM asked

"Who knows who?" Penfold asked

"Jeopardy" DM replied.

"Sort of, I know she knows, but she doesn't know you don't know, but now you know" Penfold replied

"So if I know she knows, that means she doesn't know that I know, but the Professor doesn't know" DM said.

"She knows what we know, Jeopardy doesn't know she knows that much, so she could be an asset" Penfold revealed.

"Right, fine, we'll move ahead with what we're doing, but just make sure we both know where we stand"

"I'll try to remember that I know what we know" Penfold vowed.

"Good. I know I can trust you" DM said, complimenting him.

"Did you remember that you knew that? I know you've got a tricky memory"

"I didn't know that" DM whispered back, before clambering out from behind the table and sitting down once again

"Where's the coffee jug 'Matlock?" Jeopardy asked, "You didn't retrieve it"

"I know, I know" DM said, sighing.

"What don't you know now?" Penfold asked.

"Penfold, shush" DM replied, a tad irritated.

"Now now, you know not to be rude like that in front of ladies" Penfold replied.

"You'd be surprised at how little I know of patience" DM revealed.

"I can't but notice how quiet things have gotten...everyone's just staring at their dish of the day, not even taking it in" noted Squawkencluck

Dangermouse and Penfold looked around at the other tables. Sure enough, the commotion all around them had died down. Everyone was staring blankly into space.

DM noted that only their lips were moving.

"Do you know how to read lips?" DM asked Jeopardy

"Implicitly, it's a woman's way of reading minds when they try to pucker up with them" she revealed.

"Mind letting us knows what you know of the kind of numbers they're spilling out?" DM asked

"Is there something you know you're not telling us?" A curious Penfold interrupted.

"Shush" DM and Jeopardy said in unison, and resumed their lip reading.

"Yes, numbers, and going up, and up...like...bidding" Jeopardy noted.

"The auction for the Rugby Diamond, it's going on right now...but...why isn't the Diamond present?" DM asked, "And why be so quiet about it...not unless..."

"..Your special sir" came, besides them, the only other different voice in the room, the one that belonged to the waiter as he served them their meal.

"...Unless what?" Jeopardy asked, but DM was too fixated on what they'd been served.

Hot plates of simmering seeds.


	15. Episode XIV

**EPISODE FOURTEEN**

* * *

"Do you mind if I record this?" Squawk asked as everyone stared at the dishes, taking out her portable video camera.

"Pardon?" DM asked

"Bit of an inconvenient time for home movies" Jeopardy added. DM nodded in agreement.

"Always keep an archive of what we've been mutually dreaming about" Squawk replied. "Quick, no time to lose...rationalize events as best you can before jumping to your inevitable conclusions"

DM pondered aloud what she meant, "Yes, yes, I had fast tracked a solution to this earlier...as a way to avoid my fate..."

"Your fate?" a curious Jeopardy asked, about to place one of the piping hot seeds into her mouth. DM slapped the seed out of her hand.

"Don't eat it, it's poisonous" he said

"How do you know?" she said.

"Think about it, think about why everyone is quiet...trance-like, as if they were all...sleeping awake...all except us and the service..."

"Yes, but how does that and mutual dream experience mean you...we...are about to be killed?" Jeopardy insisted.

"Because I chose the words 'Fast Track'" DM revealed.

Jeopardy was still confused.

"Don't worry, that look on your face was mine too when those words sprang up on me...they meant _something_ significant, but the hows and whys eluded me as soon as I thought them up"

"That's to be expected. Sometimes you can get too over-ambitious with how you think your plans out, then when morning comes, like many dreams; they simply cease to be as the mind is too pre-occupied with other things. Only the odder ones linger the most after you awaken" Squawk revealed.

"So you're saying you could be killed...but you've managed to avoid it by...reminding yourself about a lucid dream solution you've forgotten about?" Jeopardy said, continuing with her puzzled inquiries.

"I don't have to remember, I fast tracked a different solution...I rushed you all here"

"Rushed us into what?" Penfold continued

"This location...within this dream" DM revealed

A bright light shimmered all over the area, and everyone assembled in the restaurant suddenly burst into commotion. Loud, angry, obnoxious complaining could be heard from every table. They all glanced in the direction of the table our double dates were seated at, fire in their eyes and murder on their minds.

"Crumbs, they're all awake" Penfold said, alarmed.

"Just as well, let's send them back to sleep" Jeopardy replied, springing out of her seat. DM joined her.

They all came at them. Duckula, Snowman, Greenback, Stiletto, and many more familiar and unfamiliar...and each stepped straight into a big clunking fist and a well timed judo kick from the pair.

Penfold was perplexed.

"Professor...I don't get it. What is going on?" he asked, afraid he wouldn't be able to comprehend the answer...and worse, didn't think the Professor would either.

"I'm afraid I've got a wee confession to make Penfold" Squawk replied, "...You see, each one of us are dream partners. Remember what I told you earlier about dream meshing? The goal about having a partner is you all have a lucid dream at the same time, on the same date, and you remember exactly how to enact the meet-up when you come across the real thing"

"So this...isn't the real thing?" Penfold asked.

"It's both a premonition and a dress rehearsal. There's a theory going around that time travel has always been possible in dreams. We're all still asleep, New Year's Day has yet to arrive, and this is us caught in a fraction of the future using my new patented Lucid Undercurrent DetEctor. **L.U.D.E** for short. This is what you're all  going to do, what we're to expect when we arrive at the restaurant, once DM and I make it as clear to Jeopardy as I'm making it clear to you, we should be able to deal with everyone gathered there in a quicker amount of time"

"Jeopardy doesn't know about this?" Penfold asked.

"And neither did you. Only I and DM knew" Squawk revealed.

"So...you USED me?" Penfold replied in a raw tone. Squawk could sense the hurt was sincere.

"No, no, I didn't think you'd ask me out, in fact, I was sort of going to ask you out..."

Penfold sighed, his mood a tad elevated.

"Of course, there were times where I wasn't so sure we were in the exact scenario, so I made small talk with you in the 'taxi' taking us here. By having an unprecedented random conversation in the journey there, I made sure I could share things with you that would keep us focused on arriving at the precise destination" Squawk continued

"Ah, I get it; the crooks were all having a lucid auction weren't they? The Rugby diamond was safe and secure with whoever stole it far clear of here, and the actual bidding was being conducted all in their heads, like you said, but at the same time, they were counting on us all to arrive the next day, so they tried poisoning us in our sleep and then continue to proceed apace with the auction at the restaurant knowing no one would arrive to arrest them all while gloating in our final crushing defeat. That's diabolical" Penfold replied.

"Yep. A good thing they're all now sleeping soundly in their dream state...they'll get up in real life, feel a major hangover, realize we're all aware of the auction and go back to bed without thinking once of attending it for real" Squawk continued.

As the fight settled down. DM and Jeopardy dusted off their hands

"Will I gather a mop to clear them off the floor?" asked DM.

"I might not know exactly what just happened, but I get the feeling as soon as I wake up, I feel the need to do it all over again...especially the dating part...I found our conversations about dreams pretty dreamy"

"At least this day has yet to turn to a nightmare" DM asked, as his ears suddenly popped back into their rightful places, the fight having loosened them from the elastic holding them backwards.

Jeopardy was fuming

"Oh I KNEW it" she said, and proceeded to batter DM soundly.

Penfold and Squawk watched the spectacle, each of their hands holding the others.

"Ah DM and Jeopardy...what dreams may come...whenever she calms down and lets him have an more anyway" Squawk replied.


	16. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

* * *

For Maybelline and Maggie, their performances had gone down with the crowd swimmingly.

If only their audience had existed for real.

Oh there had been many a tortured soul that had appreciated the music, appreciated the choreography and the pain and elation delivered through their impeccable singing...but they were all preoccupied with priorities and rehearsals of their own.

"How's your daily Maggie?" Maybelline asked as Maggie checked her I-pad.

"It worked out fine after all, just as you said. My favourite couple may be stronger for it too"

"See? Nothing to worry about"

"I just get so paranoid about it...like there's some grand conspiracy against them...that's the appeal isn't it? Those two against the world, both the threats in their own little reality, and the threat from all of those that weave it all together"

"And do you think you'd ever change if one day your worst fears would come to pass? Or would you rise to the challenge the way you rose here?" Maybelline asked of her friend.

Maggie shed a small tear, proud of what she'd been able to accomplish.

"I'm always pushing myself to achieve what I can without limits...if I was able to cope with the trauma in the most lucid of ways...think about what can happen in reality"

She smiled, as she imagined the sound of applause, gently she whispered something else.

"We are such things as dreams are made of"

 **THE END**


End file.
